OFW blogger-author Nicanor “Batjay” David signing copies of his second book during a launch of Fox Literary House’s newest titles.

An excerpt from a soon-to-be-published Innerview with California-based blogger-author Nicanor David, Jr., aka Batjay:

Pinoycentric: What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned as an OFW that you’ll forever remember?

Batjay: Goal #1: Start saving money while you’re young so you can buy a house and have a great life.

2. Find a job in the Philippines that will allow you to achieve goal #1.

3. If you can’t, find a job outside the Philippines that will pay enough money to fulfill goal #1.

4. If it’s possible, don’t leave the country without your spouse and kids. It’s fucking hell to live apart from your wife and it’ll be tough for the kids. No one’s done a study yet on the effect of long-term separation for the families of OFWs, but my guess is that there is a very big price we pay for leaving our spouses and children behind.

5. First thing you do when you leave the country is save enough cash that you can use if ever something happens and you get sent back home. Most OFWs don’t have security of tenure and you need money to live on while you’re in between jobs.

6. Save and invest. I know it’s important to support your relatives back home and how cool it is to own the latest gadgets, but you have to think about saving up because you won’t be young forever.

7. Take care of your teeth. It’s fucking expensive to pay for a dentist abroad.

8. Take a bath every day so you won’t get paranoid every time you smell body odor in the train that you take to work in some country far, far away.

9. If you get cold soup in a restaurant, yell loudly that you want to talk to the manager so you’ll get freebies.

10. If somebody cuts in line, tell them to fuck off.

11. Try to come home to the Philippines as often as you can so you won’t forget where you came from. See your parents as often as you can because they won’t be with you forever.

12. If ever you do come home and somebody in the Philippines tells you that you’ve gotten fat, tell them to fuck off.

13. If you see someone in the office in a sexy suit with her cleavage showing, don’t look at her breasts too long. It’s not only impolite, you might also get sued for sexual harrassment.

14. When you’re in a Muslim country, don’t order pork.

15. When you’re in a country where they worship cows, don’t order a hamburger at the local McDonald’s.

16. If you don’t know where you are, your best bet is to order chicken.

17. When Americans tell you how good you speak English, tell them “So do you.”

Read more “Kwentong Tambay” stories from Batjay in his blog.

Batjay’s recent book, Mga Kwento ng Batang Kaning-Lamig (Ph120), published by Fox Books, is available at Fully Booked, Powerbooks, and National Bookstore. Pinoys abroad can order a copy through Kabayan Central.

Other Pinoy Expat Life stories:
United Colors of Thelma
Scented Creations from France, with Much Love
Filipina Author: Making It Big in America
A Young Immigrant Queer Pinay Tells Her Story
Montserrat: A Surreal Experience
Cendrillon: A Filipino Restaurant in New York
A Not-so-Desperate Filipina Housewife in Malaysia
A Filipina Teacher in the Big Apple
Learning to Love Red in the People’s Republic
Finding a Home in Singapore
“Mang Ambo’s Taste of Home” in Hong Kong
Fil-Am Author Explores Roots with New Book
A Filipino Designer in Singapore
Pinoy Cooking the Easy Way

Photo credit: Crissy Balatbat